Boys vs. Girls

by Cate on March 20, 2008

kim-small.jpgAre you familiar with the actress Kim Raver?  She used to be on the now-defunct show Third Watch, and now stars on Lipstick Jungle, alongside Brooke Shields and Lindsay Price.   Besides working 15-hour days on the NBC set, she is also mom to two boys, Luke (5) and Leo (born in October).  How does she do it?  Methinks LOTS of caffeine.

She recently wrote an article in Redbook magazine, focusing on being a mom and the constant juggling act we all face on a daily basis.  She shared 7 bits of advice, and I found myself nodding after reading it, each one truer than the next.

One of the things she talked about is the difference between boys and girls.  Being a mom to a boy is very different than being a mom to a girl (and this is not based on my experience with Madeline yet, before you remind me that she’s barely six weeks old).  It’s from 5+ years of proudly being Nicholas‘ mom and interacting with his friends and classmates.  My mom said it first when Nicholas was little … “When you and your sister were growing up, you used to play quietly for hours.”  If you have a boy, you know that they just don’t do that.  They are a whirling dervish of activity from sun-up to sun-down, and although sometimes exhausting to keep up with at times, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Everything from how they handle conflict to how they interact with others is different than how a girl would behave.  I absolutely adore being a mom to a boy. 

When people found out I was pregnant this time, it was always followed up by “Do you know what you’re having?” and then “Do you have a name picked out?”  When I said “a girl,” invariably the response was “Oh you must be so excited.”  Of course with Madeline on the scene, I get to delve into my pink obsession a bit more, but, truth be told, I would have been equally ecstatic with a boy too.

So anyway, back to Kim… I chuckled when I read one of the last tidbits in her article, about the difference between having a boy and girl and thought I’d share it with you.  I could so relate, and I’m sure many of you can too.

Let Boys be Boys
“I was at my son’s school for Mother’s Day, and there were three of us moms who looked like we had just fallen out of the washing machine: Our hair was sticking up, our clothes were totally mismatched and rumpled.  And I see this other group of women who are completely coiffed and pressed and perfect, and I was like, What’s the deal?  And the mothers who were disheveled, our boys were on tricycles and scooters, and there was this huge pile tumbling in the dirt, and we were trying to separate them.  And the completely pulled-together group, all of their kids — all girls! – were sitting at a table, having a little tea party, and I was like, There lies the difference.  I know it’s a total stereotype and I am totally feminist, but I gotta tell you: I will go out to dinner with Brooke (Shields, Kim’s Lipstick Jungle costar) and her girls.  And, granted, my son is really chill.  He’s really chill, but still he’ll be climbing up over my head while Brooke’s daughter Rowan is just sitting there.  But I love it.  I love having boys.”

And so do I.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Melanie March 20, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Ha! I was laughing out loud at Kim Raver’s experience. I have three boys (4, 2, 9 months) and even though I only have 4 years of boy experience, I can totally, totally relate. And I am so glad to now have an excuse to look disheveled and like I have “just fallen out of a washing machine.” Thanks for sharing!

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patsyk March 20, 2008 at 10:24 pm

As a mom to 2 boys (only 16 months apart and the best and worst of friends depending on the day), I have to say… I wouldn’t trade my boys for girls any day of the week. Never thought I’d be good at the “boy stuff” since I was such a “girly girl”, but I am amazed at their imaginary worlds they create and in general how they interact with the world.

Being a mom to boys is an adventure every day, and in the end… it’s all good stuff!

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Laura March 20, 2008 at 11:04 pm

I just read an article in Parents magazine today that was discussing the differences between boys and girls too. It is a lot of high energy now but imagine those moms by high school!

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darla March 26, 2008 at 5:10 pm

I take issue with what Kim Raver said. I have 3 sons, all adults now, but I never looked as horrendous as Kim described just because I had boys. I was a class parent and very involved in the PTA, worked part-time and still managed to shower daily, dress nicely, and apply eye-liner, mascara, , blush and lipstick. Some women I know/knew, including my BGF who only has daughters, looked much worse for wear. Maybe mothers of boys put up w/more in some aspects, but mothers of girls deal with other problems…..the “drama” never seems to end!!

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darla March 26, 2008 at 6:15 pm

Just wanted to add that Kim says her son is “really chill”…and says so twice, but is still “climbing up over my head.” Sorry, that’s NOT chill. A “really chill” kid (boy or girl) can sit through a dinner, whether it be at home or a restaurant, w/o climbing over anyone’s head!!

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Cate March 26, 2008 at 9:11 pm

Darla – I think the “really chill” is relative. :)

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CRYSTAL April 25, 2008 at 10:57 am

Darla_ the “really chill” meant compared to how he usually is, boys are really ruff and tumble and do not seem to know the boundaries or pay attention to cause and affect. I love all four of my boys (ages 6, 4, 2, and 10 mos) and whouldn’t trade them for anything, they are just so much fun, and when it comes to out fishing or mudd running, or anything that consists of getting dirty they just jump right in, the dirtier the child the more fun they had, and you can always jump right in. Clothes are only material, their childhood you can’t just go out and replace. We found out we are expecting a lil girl, and although it may calm things down a bit, I hope she learns a lot from her brothers and enjoys life as much as they do. We are so truley blessed.

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