I didn’t have the kids this weekend and my days consisted largely of one giant To Do list, which doesn’t make for fun pictures for you today, although there are a few at the end. But how about we talk tonight? About defining moments. You game?
When I was a kid, I was as skinny as Nick and Madeline, and I remember my pediatrician saying that I had to gain weight. By the time I got to high school, I had caught up, and was then faced with having to lose a few extra pounds. I remember my father getting after me, telling me that it was only five or ten pounds, and to just get on the ball and take care of it then before it got to be more. Of course I didn’t listen.
When I got married, I purposely bought my wedding dress two sizes smaller, to give myself a goal for the big day. I bartered with a local personal trainer and lost 30 pounds in roughly two months. I felt amazing. I felt like a new person. I remember people asking me then … do you think you’re going to stick with it? I thought at the time that was a silly question. Of course I would! It wasn’t a diet. I had made a lifestyle change. It was as much a part of me as anything else. And then I went on our honeymoon. Came back to work. Got swept up in life stuff and forgot about what was important. Taking care of me.
The weight crept on again, and I was right back where I started. Then add in pregnancies, stress of carrying two houses on more than one occasion, you name it, it distracted me. Even though I wasn’t focused on it, it was never far from my mind. Truth be told, I thought (and now think) about it on a daily basis. But I just couldn’t get myself back on the program. Get myself back to where I was. To that feeling. That feeling of being invincible. Then this January came. And something clicked. I had a defining moment.
People can preach about diets, about exercise, about fitness until they’re blue in the face. But until something clicks for you, for me, none of it matters. Until you’re in the right space to receive, whatever that’s said will fall on deaf ears. A friend made a nice comment about me back in January, and for whatever reason, something clicked again for me. All the sudden, I wanted to get that feeling back again. I remember clearly how amazing I felt then. And I wanted that back. Now. The time was now. I can’t explain why it clicked for me this time. Why the defining moment came. It just did. Sometimes it’s only a question of timing. Planets aligning. Being in the right mindspace to hear something a little differently. In a way that moves you. Inspires you. Calls you to action.
The very next day I took the kids down to a local gym and joined. Since then, I’ve been heading there a good five days a week. Although I had relatively good eating habits before, I revamped what I was doing there too, and cobbled together a program that works for me. Something that I can stick with, without feeling deprived.
I can’t properly explain how good I feel. As corny and cliched as it might sound, I feel like I can see in color again. Everything is different. Things that I shied away from before, I don’t. Things that used to intimidate me before, I embrace. I definitely have more energy, and being a single mom of two young children, this is certainly a good time for more energy! I don’t want to say I’m a completely new person (because I’m pretty fond of the old version too!), but I consider it Cate Version 2010, new and improved. If you had told me last year that I would be doing a 5K, I would have laughed. In April, I’m doing two. If I don’t get to the gym on a day that I was planning to, I am seriously disappointed. It has clicked again for me, and it just seriously feels amazing. Everything is different.
The same friend and I had a conversation recently, and he asked me, “Why did you let go of the wheel?” I had never thought of it like that before, but it’s true. I did. I let go of the wheel. I lost sight of what I was doing. Lost a bit of the control I had. The power I had over my own vehicle. No more. I have the wheel again. With both hands. Gripped tightly. For me. For my kids. For everything.
Enough about me. What about you? Defining moments can apply to anything … a huge career change. The decision to get married. Or divorced. To have kids. Or not. To mend a fence. To go back to school. I’d love to hear about your defining moment. Don’t leave me hanging.
The next painting project is underway.
Whenever I can’t find my iPod, I don’t need to look much further than the Naughty Monkey. She can now identify four songs by the first few notes and a big smile splashes across her face as soon as she hears them. I love that. Unfortunately she has also learned that she can now hear them on demand with my iPod.