A recent post on The Food Whore’s site had me cracking up… unfortunately, I could completely relate…
I stopped by the grocery store Tuesday morning and took a nice fall just outside my car. Nothing serious – I just sort of shut the door on my coat and went to walk and got jerked back and kind of fell into my car. But I got twisted a little in my coat when I tried to get my key in the door (no remote locks on The Car, thankyouverymuch) and then sort of got unbalanced on my shoes slipped down the side of my car to my knees.
I looked around to see if anyone was watching and tried to play it off by hollering, “Ha ha – April Fool’s!” God I am an idiot.
And I say that not because of that nice little display of embarassment, but because when I got in the store I knocked over a bag of flour and a nice white cloud blew all over the aisle. Mr. Shelf Stocker had a great laugh at my expense and told me not to worry about it and laughed at me – a lot. I was laughing, too. Kind of rolling my eyes and mocking myself. Until he said, “Besides – don’t feel so bad. My co-worker told me some poor lady just bit it out by her car. So your day really isn’t going so bad.”
And my “God I am an idiot” story? Even though it happened a good 15 years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday. It truly was one of those days. Although I shared the story in a comment on her post, I thought I’d share it here too … brutal embarassment loves company, right?
Many many years ago, the memory still plagues me. I left my apartment on a blizzard cold day and walked up this little hill to the adjoining parking lot to my car. The hill, unfortunately, although bearing a good six inches of snow, had a sheet of ice on top. I thought “no biggie, all will be fine.” I made it halfway up the hill (and I use the term hill very loosely) and fell flat on my arse. Did I mention the hill is right at a traffic light? And this was rush hour? What a fine show indeed for everyone sitting at the red light.
I picked myself up, looked at the ground, cursed at it for making me fall and continued on my way. And. Then. I. Fell. Again.
Finally made it to the other side and looked back, proud at having shaved that 0.13 seconds off my walk to the car by walking across the hill instead of using the freakin’ sidewalk. And then I saw it. My beeper (yes, folks, remember that long-forgotten era before cell phones?). A small, but bold little black blob sitting there in the gleaming white snow, surely smirking at me. From the middle of the hill. Yes. I now had to go walk back on the sheet of ice to retrieve my beeper. Surprisingly enough, I made it to the beeper in a completely upright position. Bent down. Picked it up. And wiped out. Stood up. Fell again. Ahh to hell with it, I said as I crawled my way back to the top of the hill on my hands and knees, figuring at this point, any dignity I had left had long left the building. Nice new tear in my black skirt, a scraped up and bloodied knee … such a glorious start to the day. But look at it this way … imagine all the laughs I gave the cars watching the whole show!
Go on and share your embarassing story, so I’m not the only one hanging out here. You KNOW you have your own story to share. :)