#flowertherapy might be right up there with #water #flowertherapy might be right up there with #watertherapy.  Love passing the time in secret wildflower patches. As you do. 🌸
I remarked how pretty that tiny sliver of the moon I remarked how pretty that tiny sliver of the moon was on the way home tonight, and my friend pulled over right away so I could grab a photo. That’s when someone really knows you! It was just too beautiful to resist. 🌙
Weekend photos in review, old school style. ✨ C Weekend photos in review, old school style. ✨ 
Context: 1/ picture perfect weekend, 2/ threw together a quick meal w udon noodles, steak and broccoli, so good, 3/ the sun reflections on this painting struck me today, looked like a cross 4/ it takes all afternoon but nothing like Sunday Gravy, 5/ six months old, 6/ when he wants some serious zzzz’s, he covers his eye with his ears, the cutest, 7/ breakfast pastries at @coniglios
I have plenty of reusable shopping bags since New I have plenty of reusable shopping bags since New Jersey banned the plastic ones last year. But when I spied this beauty for a buck, how could I resist? It just is so darn happy, which makes me happy. The little things aren’t so little. 💛
Cheers to the weekend! This may look like a staged Cheers to the weekend! This may look like a staged photo, but Lola just has ZERO boundaries and Clifford is exceptionally patient. 😂
I’ve been on a smoked salmon kick lately (it’s I’ve been on a smoked salmon kick lately (it’s so good for you), so when I saw that a local patisserie has a smoked salmon croissant available (weekends only), I added it to my list of things to seek out. I popped into @chocolatinenj early on Mother’s Day and was rewarded with this deliciousness. Layers of soft flaky croissant dough, tender smoked salmon, light whipped cream, thinly sliced red and green onion slivers and dotted with capers… it was every bit as amazing as you’d imagine it would be. If you’re local, don’t sleep on this one. 😋
Weekend photos in review, the belated edition. 1/ Weekend photos in review, the belated edition.

1/ hit up a few yard sales and snagged this beautiful pasta dish from Italy with my favorite color for a buck, 2/ and one of these printer trays came home with me too, 3/ pre Mother’s Day celebrations with 30 local moms, 4/ finished the weekend supervising furniture assembly
Today would have been my friend Cathy’s 53rd bir Today would have been my friend Cathy’s 53rd birthday. Unfortunately she’s not here to celebrate because she died suddenly at age 49. I think of her often … every Mother’s Day because we spent most of them together since her husband worked weekends … when I discover a new food adventure (we once did a day long donut crawl) … when I’m sharing a special time with my kids knowing that her then-11 year old is growing up without her. Before she passed, I always appreciated every day, but since then, even more so. You never know what the next day can bring, so relish in the sunshine, surprise rainstorms, making wishes over railroad tracks and all the wonderful randomness life can throw your way. Don’t waste a single second, say yes, live on the outskirts of your comfort zone, laugh often, tell people you love them, give eight second hugs, and squeeze every ounce of joy you can out of life. Do it for the people who can’t. ✨
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Sweetnicks

Food and Life

Kids and Doing the Right Thing

May 1, 2012 · Narrative

Nick
As The Ex has said in the past, Nick knows how to push my buttons.  By the time his Friday with his Dad rolls around, I’m ready for a break.

He sasses me like no other.  Requests are met with eye rolling.  Conversations are often punctuated with hands firmly planted on his hip.

Raised voices.  Arguments.  Debates about things to the nth degree.

My mom will tell you he’s me.  At that age.  Something about payback.

I’ve read The Secret of Parenting.  I know why I get the mouthy attitude side of Nick.  Kids act that way where they’re most comfortable.  Outside of the home, they are their “professional selves.”  Pleases and thank yous.  Compliance.  Courtesy.  Mannerly.

Don’t get me wrong.  I get all that from him.  But I get a heaping dose of attitude too.  No one else.  Kids let their guard down, and their best behavior model, when and where they feel most comfortable.  Which is why I get it at home.  The book also notes that adults do it too.  Best behavior at work.  Relaxed behavior at home.

Makes total sense.

But as I asked Mystic the other night, “When do WE get to stomp off in a huff if we don’t get the answer we want?”

His answer?  “Um, in about 10 years when the kids are gone.”

Right.

I raise my voice.  I beg.  I plead.  I bribe.  I shut down.  And everything in between.

Just when I wonder what kind of job I’m doing, if I’m even on the right path at all.

Something happens to reinforce it all.

That yes.  This is working.  It will be ok.  My actions and decisions are guiding them properly, even when it looks like it’s not.  Even when it feels like I’m getting nowhere with a capital N-O.

I got a glimpse of that on our last trip to the library.

It’s funny how timing lines things up so we see things we might have otherwise missed.

Madeline had an eye doctor appointment (perfect eyesight, likely no need for glasses for a long, long, long, superlong time), then we had to pick up very-urgent-can’t-live-without-them school supplies, a stop at AAA, drop off at Goodwill, and gas.  I didn’t want to make any more stops, but the two of them were whining and desperate to go to the library.

How do you say no to reading?

You don’t.

Or I don’t.

Ever.

Even if it meant by the time we got home it was after 7 pm.

So while we’re there, the kids are looking for a bunch of books to check out.  There are a few computers in the center of the kids’ section that are set up with games and exercises.  On the table, is someone’s iPad.

That they left behind.

Nick has wanted an iPad forever and a day.

At least over a year.

Asked for his birthday.  And for Christmas.

I said no.  Way too expensive for a fancy browser.

Especially for a 9-year-old.

He saw the iPad sitting on the computer table.  No one else was in the children’s section.  Not when we first got there, nor since.

He picked it up and started walking to the door.

Where are you going?

“Someone left their iPad here.  I’m going to go turn it in to the front desk,” he answered.

My heart swelled at that very moment.  I know how much he wants one.  But in the moment of having to make the (right) decision on his own, he didn’t hesitate.  Not for one second.  He knew what was the right thing to do, and did it without question.

I wasn’t planning on stopping at the library that day.  But it’s almost like I needed to be there.  We needed to be there.  To get that little bit of reinforcement.  That yes, even through all the sass and veracity.

That I’m on the right path with them.

That we’re on the right path.

And once again, all is right with the world.

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Posted In: Narrative

Comments

  1. Joanne says

    May 2, 2012 at 6:20 am

    Being a parent is probably the most thankless job ever but I can tell you that the one thing I’ve always seen in your kids is that you raised them well and that they are genuine, GOOD people who are going to make GOOD decisions in life. I know it’s sometimes hard to see when you have to deal with all the day-to-day crap but if you really hadn’t done a good job, it would come through even to strangers.

    Reply
  2. Stephanie says

    May 2, 2012 at 8:53 am

    Thanks for writing a post about your kids and how to deal with them. I find that when I come home in the evening and I’m tired and the kids are tired we tend to snap at each other. So much of my time with them seems to be spent fixing little problems and dealing with minor squabbles and I forget the bigger picture. I forget to be the adult, be the mom, be the bigger person.

    Reply
  3. Paula Ann says

    May 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Well done, Nick, and well done, Mom!! Those moments of parental pride are without measure.

    Reply

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#flowertherapy might be right up there with #water #flowertherapy might be right up there with #watertherapy.  Love passing the time in secret wildflower patches. As you do. 🌸
I remarked how pretty that tiny sliver of the moon I remarked how pretty that tiny sliver of the moon was on the way home tonight, and my friend pulled over right away so I could grab a photo. That’s when someone really knows you! It was just too beautiful to resist. 🌙
Weekend photos in review, old school style. ✨ C Weekend photos in review, old school style. ✨ 
Context: 1/ picture perfect weekend, 2/ threw together a quick meal w udon noodles, steak and broccoli, so good, 3/ the sun reflections on this painting struck me today, looked like a cross 4/ it takes all afternoon but nothing like Sunday Gravy, 5/ six months old, 6/ when he wants some serious zzzz’s, he covers his eye with his ears, the cutest, 7/ breakfast pastries at @coniglios
I have plenty of reusable shopping bags since New I have plenty of reusable shopping bags since New Jersey banned the plastic ones last year. But when I spied this beauty for a buck, how could I resist? It just is so darn happy, which makes me happy. The little things aren’t so little. 💛

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#flowertherapy might be right up there with #water #flowertherapy might be right up there with #watertherapy.  Love passing the time in secret wildflower patches. As you do. 🌸
I remarked how pretty that tiny sliver of the moon I remarked how pretty that tiny sliver of the moon was on the way home tonight, and my friend pulled over right away so I could grab a photo. That’s when someone really knows you! It was just too beautiful to resist. 🌙
Weekend photos in review, old school style. ✨ C Weekend photos in review, old school style. ✨ 
Context: 1/ picture perfect weekend, 2/ threw together a quick meal w udon noodles, steak and broccoli, so good, 3/ the sun reflections on this painting struck me today, looked like a cross 4/ it takes all afternoon but nothing like Sunday Gravy, 5/ six months old, 6/ when he wants some serious zzzz’s, he covers his eye with his ears, the cutest, 7/ breakfast pastries at @coniglios
I have plenty of reusable shopping bags since New I have plenty of reusable shopping bags since New Jersey banned the plastic ones last year. But when I spied this beauty for a buck, how could I resist? It just is so darn happy, which makes me happy. The little things aren’t so little. 💛
Cheers to the weekend! This may look like a staged Cheers to the weekend! This may look like a staged photo, but Lola just has ZERO boundaries and Clifford is exceptionally patient. 😂
I’ve been on a smoked salmon kick lately (it’s I’ve been on a smoked salmon kick lately (it’s so good for you), so when I saw that a local patisserie has a smoked salmon croissant available (weekends only), I added it to my list of things to seek out. I popped into @chocolatinenj early on Mother’s Day and was rewarded with this deliciousness. Layers of soft flaky croissant dough, tender smoked salmon, light whipped cream, thinly sliced red and green onion slivers and dotted with capers… it was every bit as amazing as you’d imagine it would be. If you’re local, don’t sleep on this one. 😋
Weekend photos in review, the belated edition. 1/ Weekend photos in review, the belated edition.

1/ hit up a few yard sales and snagged this beautiful pasta dish from Italy with my favorite color for a buck, 2/ and one of these printer trays came home with me too, 3/ pre Mother’s Day celebrations with 30 local moms, 4/ finished the weekend supervising furniture assembly
Today would have been my friend Cathy’s 53rd bir Today would have been my friend Cathy’s 53rd birthday. Unfortunately she’s not here to celebrate because she died suddenly at age 49. I think of her often … every Mother’s Day because we spent most of them together since her husband worked weekends … when I discover a new food adventure (we once did a day long donut crawl) … when I’m sharing a special time with my kids knowing that her then-11 year old is growing up without her. Before she passed, I always appreciated every day, but since then, even more so. You never know what the next day can bring, so relish in the sunshine, surprise rainstorms, making wishes over railroad tracks and all the wonderful randomness life can throw your way. Don’t waste a single second, say yes, live on the outskirts of your comfort zone, laugh often, tell people you love them, give eight second hugs, and squeeze every ounce of joy you can out of life. Do it for the people who can’t. ✨

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