This past weekend, The Ex and I had a miscommunication about where we were meeting on Saturday. Even though I had confirmed it the night before. The end result was no big deal really. It just resulted in a harried 20 minutes and Madeline being a bit late for her soccer game.
Life goes on.
As I picked her up from Nick’s field to race over to hers, The Ex cocked his head to one side and said, “You know, sometimes I wonder about you.”
He was kidding, as evidenced by the smile on his face and the chuckle that followed. And knowing that, I didn’t respond other than a giant eye roll, masked by my favorite aviator sunglasses.
But inside? I bristled.
I juggle a lot. Two kids, two different schools, two sports teams, Cub Scouts, work. And then everything else. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, freelancing. Parent-teacher conferences, volunteering, permissions slips, homework. Orthodontist appointments. Annual check-ups. By myself. Some days I worry about what I may have forgotten. Other days, the kitchen might be an absolute disaster, but everyone is fed and bathed, and the day ends on a high note because of just that. Because that’s enough.
He meant no harm by the comment. I know this. He was kidding. But I don’t think he realizes how much goes on … on our side. The lion’s share of responsibility falls in my lap. He is able to get up, go to work, go home, eat, shower, sleep. Rinse, lather, repeat. Largely able to be responsible for himself and himself only. Except on the every-other-weekend that has the kids.
And that’s ok.
Because that’s the way it is.
But man, don’t wonder about me. Because I might forget something occasionally.
But I’ve got this.
Raising happy, confident, kind kids that are self-sufficient, independent thinkers is my ultimate goal. And is that ever a lot of pressure. But it’s the most important thing entrusted to me. So I research. I read. I listen. I rely on instinct a lot. I make decisions based on gut. And what I think is right. And so far? So good.
I sometimes read parenting books. And sometimes single parenting books. Not necessarily because I’m seeking answers. But more so because more knowledge and more perspective is never a bad thing really.
I happened upon a book from David & Lisa Frisbie recently, Raising Great Kids on Your Own (A Guide and Companion for Every Single Parent), and just finished it.
I swear, by page 10, my notebook was out, I was scribbling in it, and seriously bristling.