Inquiring Minds Want to Know… Tongue Kissing?!

Nicholas is quite prone to asking difficult question that go way beyond the usual incessant peppering of “Why?”

With my sister and brother-in-law’s new baby, Sophie, babies have been an ongoing topic of numerous questions. How do babies get in your belly? I told him God puts them there. But “HOW?” Magic. How do they get out?

* * * *

About a year ago, Nicholas and I were in a store and the cashier had only one arm. Watching Nicholas, who was intently concentrating on the cashier, I knew what was coming, and was just hoping the questions would come out of the cashier’s earshot, since you never know how they’re going to be worded. As I got my change, I breathed a sigh of relief and we headed towards the door. Just as I put my hand on the handle, “Mama, why does he have only one arm? Where is his other one?” I turned around and the cashier had heard. He was laughing and said, “Don’t worry, I get it all the time.” He was kind enough to explain to Nicholas what happened, and Nicholas was in total and complete awe.

* * * *

Recently, on our way to do some errands, we passed by a small forest.

“Mama, are there bears in there?”

“I suppose it’s possible.”

“What if they fall down?”

“Well, they would probably get right back up.”

“No, I mean, what if they’re walking towards the street and they fall down?”

“Well, I guess it would depend on how hurt they were.”

“Did you know bears have souls?”

“They do?”

“Yes. I have a soul too. It’s that thing inside me with a little voice that says ‘Uh uh, you shouldn’t do that.’ Bears have a soul like that too.”

* * * *

This morning, not quite ready to get up and get dressed yet, he was lying on our bedroom floor, petting our dog, Eli.

“I love Eli so much. How old is he?”

“He’s five, just like you.”

“Really? That’s so cool. What does he want to be when he grows up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like an artist … a fireman … a teacher… what does Eli want to be when he grows up?”

“Honey, he’s always going to be a dog, even when he grows up.”

“Really? That’s so sad. But it’s ok, I’ll still love him just as much.”

* * * *

Now as for the tongue kissing…?

Last night, we were watching an episode of Rachael Ray’s talk show and she had Tim Daly (of Private Practice) on as a guest. Tim was talking about a scene he had with Kate Walsh, and his lines were, “I’m going to kiss you. There is going to be tongue involved.”

Nicholas turns to me and exclaims, “They kiss with their tongues? How do they do it?”

“Well, they kiss with their lips and then open their mouths and their tongues touch.”

“How long do their tongues touch for?”

“As long as they want.”

“Do they just go in and out?”

“Sometimes.”

“Ewwwwwww!”

* * * *

He seriously cracks me up. I never thought I’d have to explain tongue kissing to a 5-1/2 year-old, and thankfully, the line of questioning didn’t continue past him being grossed out.

For some reason, I am the only one that gets the hard questions. I’m certain it’s because I’ve told him that “Moms know everything, and what they don’t know, they make up.” This has certainly backfired on me more than once.