There are people that post sometimes on facebook with a “woe is me” status update. You know the ones. The ones that post something really vague to prompt you to ask “what’s wrong? is everything ok?” I saw an article awhile back that had a nickname for people who did that, but the nickname escapes me. I hate when people do that. I think I might have been one of those people today. But that wasn’t my intention. I simply said that I could “really, really use a break.” And I mean it, I really can. I try earnestly to not complain. I know whatever challenges come my way are nothing compared to what others have to get through. But I just think that for a day (or four!), I could get a break. It could be someone else’s turn. I am quite familiar with the saying that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle but I’m ok with him not trusting me so much, you know?
So Madeline and I took Eli to the vet today. It is not good. When the vet himself gets visibly upset, you know it’s not good. And I love him for that. It appears that Eli has bone cancer. And it’s materializing really quickly. Like eight weeks ago, there was nothing on his leg, and now there is a lump the size of an adult fist. There are many courses of action that we could take, but we I am choosing the “let’s make him comfortable for whatever time he has left” path. A path that pains me so. We got Eli when Nick was just a baby crawling around on the floor. Nine years ago. He has been through raising these kids, two moves, a divorce, three other dogs and two other cats. And countless other curve balls. He has been nothing but good to us, and as I explained to Nick tonight, it’s our turn to do whatever he needs us to do to continue to be good to him. To love on him. Unfortunately I think we’re talking about less than a month. The good news is that aside from a visible limp, he appears, on the outside, fine and not in noticeable pain. I am trying to be strong for Nick. He doesn’t know I’ve already cried a few times about this. There will be more tears, no doubt. And I have no idea how I can summon up the strength for Eli’s last day, whenever it comes. For me. Let alone for Nick. The Ex always handled that part. Many friends have offered to help me then, and I will absolutely take them up on it.
My family and friends have been amazing the past month. Hell, they always are. But I have definitely needed everyone more lately than ever before. Through a power surge that killed every bit of technology in the house. A sprained ankle. A missing cat. Two bouts of strep for Nick. And now Eli and his bone cancer. All in the last six weeks. I honestly wasn’t going to type anything here tonight. I was just going to post this lot of happy pictures. All pictures from tonight actually (except the last one, which was from yesterday). We all need happy pictures right now. So forgive the ramble. On that note, let’s bring on the happy.
Participating in Embrace the Camera, the brainchild of Miss Emily and The Anderson Crew, but currently being hosted by Amy at Buggie and Jellybean. Go grab your camera, snap a pic with your fam and join in the fun. Nick took this picture for me at the park last night. Fittingly with Eli. Loving yellow lately. That sweater is actually new (as of this weekend) and the first article of yellow clothing I own. More to come. I just spied an e-mail from Old Navy touting their 3/4-length sleeve cardigans and there was a bright orange one. More happy colors. Love.