I had just gotten home from a 2 hour Zumbathon with my friend, Beth. He was waiting outside in his truck for me to get home. He was picking up his daughter. Our babysitter.
He got out and walked towards my car. Stuck out his hand to shake mine and introduced himself. Walked up the steps with me to my front door.
He sat on my couch and we talked for over two hours. About anything and everything.
While I tried not to think about how disgusting and sweaty I was.
I had gotten a replacement BlackBerry, and when I saw he had one too, I mentioned something that I couldn’t figure out on it.
My friends are now rolling their eyes.
Me and technology just don’t mix. Mostly because I don’t have the interest to learn it and don’t always embrace change.
So I use things (cassette tapes, VCR tapes, cell phones, and the like) until I can no longer. And then I begrudgingly make the switch to the newer and better thing. Usually years after everyone else did.
Me not knowing all the ins and outs of my BlackBerry is no surprise.
So he’s talking about the BlackBerry instant messenger. And I’m all like “Huh?” Didn’t know there was such a thing.
He set it up for me. When he gave me back my phone, I noticed that he had added himself to it. I didn’t mention it then.
During our conversation, he gave me a tip about my printer. Awhile later, and well past midnight, he left. That was that. I mentioned the encounter to Beth. Wondered if there was something there. I think being able to talk to someone you just met for two hours is always the sign of good things to come. Whether it just be a friendship or something more.
That was a Thursday night.
Friday passed. And Saturday. Beth asked what I planned to do. I decided that if his tip panned out, I would text him to say thank you. It did and I did. Sunday night. We started chatting back and forth. All the while, I was online working on a freelance assignment and chatting with Sarah on GoogleTalk, as we do most nights.
It turns out that Sarah has been around for lots of big moments in my life over the past few years.
During our conversation, he casually asked, “What would you do if I was on your doorstep?”
One of the kids would open it because I never get to the door first with them here.
“They’re still up?”
Ohhh. You mean now. (Apparently I was a little slow that night). No, they’re fast asleep (it was nearly 11 pm now). I’d open the door I guess.
“Ok, good, I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Sarah can atttest to my mini freak-out. Wasn’t expecting him to come right over. Not then. He waited for me to say it was ok. And pulled up mere minutes later.
And that was the beginning…
Here we are exactly one year later. Obviously falling into the “more than a friendship,” our relationship has been very easy from the beginning. As I’ve mentioned, dating with kids is definitely full of all sorts of not-so-fun challenges, but what exists between Mystic and I is pretty darn effortless. Especially when I behave myself.
I have moments, especially in the beginning, where I just want to be by myself. Not necessarily single, but just needing space. I like my own company, and I think that’s a big difference with someone who has lived alone (both before I got married, and, of course after with kids), then someone who goes from their parents’ house to college to roommates to getting married, you know? I have no problem spending the day by myself and don’t need to always be around others to feel like myself.
I think it’s important to like to be by yourself. To like your own company. And I think that makes me a better partner.
Mystic is awesome in terms of being mindful of what I need. What we need. Nothing phases him, and I love that laid-back approach (The Ex had it too). I think it’s a great balance for me, because I tend to sometimes be a whirling dervish of activity and that yin/yang is good.
Although I’ve also gotten way more zen over the years. More so now than ever.
He is truly an awesome guy and I swear he can fix anything. He is the most observant person that I know, constantly remembering things that I have long since forgotten. He is the hardest working person I know, next to my Dad. He is thoughtful like no other. He can speak eloquently on a ridiculous amount of topics and I catch myself looking at him with a “how do you know THAT?” look on a regular basis (just recently when he pointed out things about Nick’s history lesson that I had never heard of). I tell him he is Mr. Better Faster Stronger, because no matter what I am doing, or trying to do, he has a better, faster, stronger way of doing it. Without that annoying condescending “I know everything” approach. A pretty unbeatable quality, if you ask me. He’s not perfect, and neither am I, but he is perfectly imperfect.
We’ve had all sorts of adventures over the past year… searching for the best hot dogs and falafel, taking the kids to Hershey Park and Great Wolf Lodge, and doing household things like painting Madeline’s room (which was actually when we talked about not dating others). Dealing with sprained ankles (mine and his daughter’s), work trips, ER visits, holidays with family, sports for four out of the five kids, power outages, flooded basements, ex-spouse negotiations, broken cars, a beloved pet dying, hurricanes, and a mini earthquake. It’s not always easy, and there is always extra give and take with a collective five kids in the mix, and ex-spouses to boot, but it’s been quite the ride so far.
I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I am forever glad for the fateful twists and turns (and there were many) that landed him squarely on my front steps that sweaty Zumbathon night one year ago today.
I love you, Mystic.