Being able to embrace the different is something that hits close to my heart. And, for me, it’s a double-edged sword.
I want to raise kids that are supremely comfortable with who they are, and confident enough that they can embrace the different. Be ok with not following the pack. Leading their own little pack perhaps a different way. Playing football if you’re a girl. Coloring if you’re a boy. Blurring the lines between “what’s normal” and “what’s normal for me.”
To just raise kids that are confident in being themselves. Whatever self that may be.
But here’s where it gets tricky. I don’t want them to be *so* different that they become an outcast. Neither are in danger of that, but it’s something that floats in the back of my mind. You want them to be confident enough to handle any criticism that may ever come their way, and confident enough to be who they are. From now until the end of time.
And as a parent, that’s a pretty tall order.
Last year, Madeline became seriously, amusingly obsessed with wearing glasses. As an accessory. And Santa Claus delivered, with a pair of her very own in her Christmas stocking. Sometime after, through the disaster that is her bedroom (because it so rarely looks like this), they got lost.
Earlier this week, after having a day off from school and having to spend the day with me at work, I surprised her by taking her out to the store so she could pick out another pair of glasses.
You would have thought I adopted a unicorn.
I love that it takes so little to make her happy. That she is truly, honestly content with whatever she has.
She wore the glasses the rest of the day. Couldn’t wait to show Nick after he got home from school. And fell asleep, clasping the glasses in her little hands.
She had planned to wear them to school the next day. She wore them at Nick’s bus stop that morning. And in the car on the way to her school.
But when we got there, she took them off. I asked her why, and she said, “What if people make fun of me?”
“Oh Madeline,” I started, my heart breaking just a little. “You need to do what makes you happy. You love those glasses, and you look adorable in them. And without them. If you want to wear them, then wear them. And your real friends won’t make fun of you.”
Oh the things that go through that little four-year-old head. I hate that we’re starting such thoughts so early.
And even more with her, because she is one of the most confident people I know, amongst children and adults combined.
It took a few days, but she finally wore them to school. And all was fine.
As I hoped it would be.
Because nobody should be crushing that little girl’s spirit.
Or anyone else’s.
…
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