The car service is waiting downstairs, so a quick weekend peeks and I’m off for ATL. Will be back Wednesday. xoxo Cate
Archives for 2011
The Message? Live Positively
“Be like a duck and let it roll off you.”
When a drop of water hits a duck’s feathers, it’s like a little bead and rolls right off them. The mantra “be like a duck and let it roll of you” is something we refer to in our family (and extensions thereof). I introduced the kids’ old babysitter, Jamie, to the credo early last year, when she was having problems with her roommates. There was a lot of quacking going on for a few months for her, but it all worked out. She moved in with us for the summer, and distanced herself from the trouble. Girls that really weren’t her friends. For me, it’s akin to “don’t sweat the small things.” Will this problem still haunt you five years from now? Next week even? No? Then move the heck on. Most problems in life are like that. Little annoyances that pop in and threaten to ruin an otherwise good day.
A nap-free three-year-old who is having a pre-dinner meltdown? I could get aggravated by it, but the easiest (and best) solution for all was to scoop everyone up, pack up a quick picnic dinner and head to the park for the kids to blow off some of their steam and unbridled energy.
An 8-year-old who frets about a friendship? Explain that we don’t have to be friends with everyone, but we do have to be kind. It was a lesson we talked a bit about again last week.
Nick’s school had “Olympic Day,” which is like their version of an end-of-year field day. As one of the Class Moms, I had to be there for a large portion of the day (note to self: wear sunblock next time to avoid farmer’s tan). Midway through the morning, I caught sight of one of Nick’s classmates, Dan, sitting down on the grass in tears. There’s nothing like seeing a boy at that age cry, whether he’s mine or not. It does nothing shy of break my heart. They’re supposed to be all tough and macho and muddy, full of rough and tumble. When they crumple, I do too. He was being picked on by another classmate.
“He keeps calling me names. He’s not being nice. And it’s my birthday!”
I felt terrible. His eyes welling up again as he was trying to tell me what happened. He was trying to fight back the tears. Nick had wedged himself in the middle, literally and figuratively, and was taking sides with Dan. My kid, who weighs all of 63 lbs soaking wet, was sticking up to the bully-of-the-day for his friend. Man, I love that kid.
“Do you know what I tell Nick all the time? Be like a duck and let it roll off you. Ignore what the other kid is saying to you. Walk away. Go hang out with your friends and forget about his words. He is just trying to get a reaction out of you.”
“But he’s ruining my day. It’s my birthday!”
“YOU are in control of your day. He is not. Don’t let this seep in and ruin it for you. You can’t cry on your birthday. Let’s think about how you’re going to celebrate. Are you doing anything special with your family?”
“Yes,” he said, brightening up immediately, “We’re going to Sonic!”
Sonic really *does* make everything better, doesn’t it?
There are many lessons I work on regularly to impart on my kids. Not getting bogged down by other people’s negativity is a huge one. Sometimes you can’t help the things that happen to you. It’s not in your control. What you CAN control, however, is how you handle it. How you react to your situation. And I’ll be darned if someone else is going to ruin my day (or my kids’) just for the sport of it.
It’s about living positively. And living passionately. And living intentionally.
These are small, but hugely important, lessons that I want to drill into my kids because they are lessons that can serve them well for years to come, whether they’re 3, 13 or 53. I can teach them to clean up after themselves, to do chores around the house, how to cook a solid meal while paying strict homage to the food pyramid, and how to master the multiplication tables even if it kills us all, but all those things pale in comparison to learning how to treat others and how to treat themselves.
Be nice. Live life. Love others. Can I get a chorus of kumbaya?
A few weeks ago, I received an e-mail asking if I wanted to attend an event put on by Coca-Cola and McDonald’s. In Atlanta. They’ll pay my expenses. So besides the fact that I practically live on McDonald’s yogurt parfaits and am powered some days solely by Diet Coke and lots of laughter, I get an opportunity to cross Atlanta off my bucket list of cities never visited? I didn’t even need to finish reading the e-mail to know my answer. But then, being all practical and all, I read it through to the end. During my visit, I get to visit with top leaders from Coca-Cola and learn about their message of living positively. Pinch me. I’m a lucky girl. I can’t wait to hear what they have to say. And, um, hello Atlanta! And a few hours on a plane where someone isn’t pulling at me asking me for goldfish, milk with a straw and how to do remainders in division? Color me happy.
So that’s next week’s adventure. In the meantime, though, the folks putting on the event would like some help from you … are there any burning questions you have for the masterminds behind Coca-Cola and/or McDonald’s? Something you’d like to know? Ask? Say? Please share with me so I can share with them.
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AutoCorrect Makes Me Laugh
When Sarah and I were sitting in the airport, waiting to come home from our Seattle trip, I sent myself an e-mail with some notes for a story idea. I swear we nearly died laughing when I saw what AutoCorrect did to my message, specifically the last line. I was not worrying about “inbred” being a local Seattle thing. Seems ingred (as in short for ingredients) is like the same thing as inbred. Yeah, so close, yet so far.
June 8, 2011 – Bonus Photos
I’ve become pretty militant about recycling over the last several years, so I was pretty stoked when I found this pens today (at A.C. Moore). Made from recycled water bottles. Very cool.
Ten Things I Learned about Sarah Caron
Sarah and I first got to know each other as writers on the same (now defunct) food website. Through working together, our friendship grew. We have actually worked (and still work) for quite a few of the same clients, so from a professional standpoint, it’s been awesome to have someone to bounce ideas off of, and do creative brainstorming with, especially since we both keep super late hours. But beyond the professional connection, a friendship was born. We both have young kids, so eventually, it was only naturally that we get together. Sarah and her family stayed with us for a weekend nearly two years ago, and we met halfway for a picnic playdate at Bear Mountain last year. I talk to Sarah as much as I talk to my “real life” friends, if not more. If fact, we were working online together when The Ex announced he wanted out of our marriage. She was the first to know, and in a weird sort of way, and was right there when it happened.
We have attended several events together, but the Seattle trip last month was our first professional trip together. We had a serious blast.
1. Sarah appreciates the need for a good cupcake stop. We had barely gotten through the security checkpoint before we made a beeline for Crumbs cupcakes. Unfortunately the cupcake didn’t fare so well, as we accidentally stepped on it, um, three times. It was still pretty tasty. Even if it cost four dollars. I know!
2. Sarah does not embarrass that easily. Which is really good because I tend to get myself and others in situations that might be embarrassing. I’d like to think that’s part of my charm. In fact, I’m sure of it. When we were waiting to board our flight, I took a picture of the ticket area because I wanted something that announced where we were going. As we were sitting on the plane, waiting for take-off, I was flipping through some of the pictures that I had taken so far. I came across this one. “Man, look at his saggy ass,” I said to Sarah. While I had my iPod on. The look she shot me was hovering between horror and hysterics. Because I said it really loudly. I’m sure five rows back probably heard me. Luckily she settled on hysterics. Which is pretty much how the whole trip went.
3. Sarah appreciates a good read. This was my stack that I brought with me. Hers was about a quarter-inch thick since her reading material came via her Kindle.
4. Sarah is not a food snob. This was our dinner. Oh wait, this was my side. Hers was much healthier. Well, kind of. As healthy as you can be with airplane food. We decided to go with munchies instead of, you know, a real meal. All the more fun while traveling.
5. This was Sarah’s first time to Seattle too. I love that we got to experience it together.
6. Sarah’s a pretty good sport. Because I made her lean over the passenger sitting next to her to take that “first glimpse of Seattle” picture above.
7. Sarah’s a giver. I had borrowed a friend’s Netbook so I could do a mountain of editing work that was due our first night in Seattle. That would have worked out great had I not forgotten my friend’s “very easy” password. Sarah gave up working that night so I could meet my deadlines.
8. Sarah gets the whole photo thing. Though, in all honesty, I probably knew this about her before we went to Seattle. My camera goes everywhere with me. I take pictures of everything. It can be a little annoying, but I don’t care. Sarah is totally right there with me. Love that.
9. Sarah is down for anything when it comes to food, and I adore that. We tried out so many random places during our time there. This guy, Trenton, was super cool and took care of us on a spur-of-the-moment oyster stop we made (review coming soon).*Photo credit for that one is for Sarah.
10. We are more simpatico than I ever knew. There were quite a few times during the trip that we were separated by people, space, whatever and we would catch up for a few minutes and share notes. It’s funny to see our take-aways on different things, and that they were totally on the same page most of the time. Made for awesome gossip!
Sarah took this one of me at our “goodbye lunch” the day we left the Starbucks crew and Seattle. I was waving. She thought it was funny because it looks like I’m telling her that I’m five years old. I might act it sometimes (perhaps it’s the sense of humor), I swear I’m much older. Really.
Luckily Sarah seems to have enjoyed the trip to Seattle as much as I did, because we’re doing a road trip next month together. I convinced Joanne to go with us. I hope she’s ready.
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Recipe: Coffee Crunch Bars
First, before I forget, today is, of course, Eat. Live. Be. day. I have kind of sucked at ELB updates lately and that pains me more than you know. I have not fallen off the wagon, but with my sprained ankle, which is still mighty sore and swollen, I’m definitely off the exercise trail for another few weeks. In a grand twist of irony, only two pairs of shoes fit my swollen ankle with the air cast. One is quite cute and being worn into the ground. Literally. The other? My Zumba sneakers. Here, you can wear your Zumba sneakers, but you can’t Zumba! I hope to be back to my same routine (or better!) in the next few weeks, but in the meantime, I am totally babying my ankle. It’s still super weak and I don’t want to push it and run the risk of reinjuring it. So no Zumba, or hiking, or spin or anything incredibly active. Unless chasing my kids around counts. And it likely doesn’t. Today’s ELB topic is all about progress and redefining your goals. Short of GETTING BACK TO IT, my goals are still very much the same. Since I can’t update further, go read up on what my fellow ELBers are up to, and see how they’ve been faring:
- Sarah Caron at Sarah’s Cucina Bella
- Joanne from Eats Well with Others
- Chris Arpante – Melecotte
- Patsy – Family, Friends and Food
- Claire – Cooking is Medicine
- Rivki Locker – Healthy Eating for Ordinary People
- Sarah Rogers – Sarah’s Sweet Creations
- Kate – Paved with Good Intentions
Now how ’bout a little food? I first made these Coffee Crunch Bars mid-last year. I never wrote about them, because, to be quite honest, they did nothing for me. They did, however, become a quick favorite of one of my co-workers, Jaclyn. Any time I owe her a favor for hooking me up with a project at work, I know it’s easily returned by making her a batch of these. A few days after I sprained my ankle, she sent me a text message, asking if I was home. Minutes later, she stopped by with a complete dinner: pork chops, sauteed apples and a loaf of bread. I was completely blown away by her thoughtfulness, and the food was perfect. Unfortunately, hobbling around on a bum ankle has made cooking (and standing on said bum ankle) less than appealing, so dinner that doesn’t come from a drive-thru was (and still is an absolute god-send). I definitely owed her big this time. As I texted her a picture of the cooling Coffee Crunch Bars tonight, she replied seconds later with a very happy “whoo hoo!” Her Tupperware container is finally clean and going back filled with fresh baked goodies.
Another friend loaned Nick a bunch of sports gear for a presentation he is doing for school tomorrow. Extra Coffee Crunch Bars heading her way as a thank you too. One good turn deserves another.
When the recipe first hit Bon Appetit magazine, something shared by Molly of Orangette fame, there was a little controversy. Apparently the recipe appeared in the magazine the way Molly originally submitted it, but the online version was changed, to the tune of adding an extra 20 minutes to the baking time, resulting in very dry, overdone Coffee Crunch Bars. This is definitely one of those times that it pays to read the comments and reviews when making an online recipe, though I was safe since I had torn out the clipping. Even as print magazines fold and Kindle sales go up, I’m an old-fashioned girl at heart, and still love flipping through a magazine.
Although it’s not a go-to recipe for me, you may be like Jaclyn and love it. They are super simple to make, and you likely have the ingredients already on hand. A huge plus, if you ask me. It takes just a few minutes to mix it together, and 25 minutes in the oven. A perfect way to say thank you to those people making your life a little easier.
PS – The recipe below is how it originally ran, and how I’ve always made it since.
June 6, 2011 – Bonus Photos
I am wondering what age children start behaving in the library. It is not three. Certainly not if your name is Madeline. She was fine in the closed off kids section, but Lord help me when I dared to venture into the grown-up section. I stopped counting the dirty looks we got as I scrambled to quickly find my one title. She got mad when I wouldn’t let her check out a political book because it had her FAVORITE animal (you know, an elephant) on the cover, and flopped herself on the chair and announced how BORING this place was. I’m sure I didn’t catch her trying to slide the aisle descriptions out of the little placeholders on the bookcases so people could find their books easily. Not my child. And people wonder why Amazon boasts such amazing sales records! It’s ’cause I can’t set foot in the library with my child… YET. ‘Tis a shame because they redid our library last year and it is stunning.
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Weekend Photos in Review
When I saw this picture download this weekend, out of the 700+ I took since Friday, it instantly became one of my favorites. We celebrate my niece’s second birthday this weekend. While I was there, I was talking with one of the other guests about photography. She said she could tell it was more than just a hobby for me by watching me decide what pictures to take, and asked me what my favorite style was. For me, it’s all about the candids. I much prefer taking those over posed shots. I’d rather take my kids to a park, let them do their thing, while I sit back and take a million snaps. It’s real. It’s life. And for me (and my subjects), the most fun. In the above picture, Sadie was watching for party guests to arrive.
This next picture is another one of my favorites. I love Nick’s face in this one. Totally captures everything about that moment. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss.
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Verizon FiOS: I Heart You
Even though I have no trouble admitting how much I dislike change, sometimes I like efficiency more. I have been a DirecTv fan forever and a day. When The Ex and I bought our first house, DirectTv went right in, and followed us from house to house to house to house. Optimum came knocking on our door to entice me to change, waving cheaper bills in my face and I said no. DISH Network tried to sway me with their channel line-up and I was undeterred. I knew my remote. I knew the channel numbers I liked. And I was sticking to it.
And then, our last move, something changed. All the sudden, my living room tv programming didn’t work. DirecTv came out to work on the problem. Not once. Not twice. Not even three times. FOUR times. They sent the same tech three of the times. Then his manager. Replaced the dish. Ripped up some wiring. Still major pixelation and static. They threw up their hands and told me to talk to my neighbors. It MUST be their backyard trees interfering with my signal. Get them to cut them or trip them (to the tune of $700) and everything would be fine. I balked. At the time, we had five tvs in the house. The problem only existed on one, so I wasn’t buying the tree interference story. I called Verizon and switched right away. Hatred of change or not, lousy customer service outweighs my own issues.
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Wordless Wednesday
Nick might have looked a little absent from the Weekend Photos in Review, but I assure you, he wasn’t. Just ask Sadie. Any time you needed to find him, just look for her. I love seeing how much she adores him, and how good he is with her. Too cute. Today, she turns two – Happy Birthday, Sadie!! xoxo
She was determined to make him wear her hat:
Then Eli got in on the action:
Love Nick’s face in these pictures as they share goldfish:
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Explanations, Definitions and a Really Awesome Hot Artichoke Dip
On the way down the shore Saturday afternoon, Madeline slept nearly the whole way. Nick did not. From the third row of my SUV, he volleyed off questions faster than I could answer them. He spoke so low that every time he had a question, I had to lower the radio. I may or may not have done so with an exasperated sigh. It could have had something to do with the timing his questions had with songs I really liked. Or the fact that by the time we reached salty water and sea air, we had covered Daddy’s girlfriend and her clothing, if cancer is contagious, if we can get another dog and the differences between dating and having a boyfriend. And everything in between. Being a parent is mentally exhausting sometimes all the time.
The topic of dating someone versus them being a boyfriend or a girlfriend has come up a few times over the past week. I’ve explained the difference. For those approaching these fun topics with their own children, I went with “dating” is when you see different people and a “boyfriend or a girlfriend” is when you have decided to be exclusive. That works, right? It does here.
I didn’t think Madeline was really paying attention, and honestly, doubted the topic interested her.
I was wrong.
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Weekend Photos in Review
Happy Pictures
There are people that post sometimes on facebook with a “woe is me” status update. You know the ones. The ones that post something really vague to prompt you to ask “what’s wrong? is everything ok?” I saw an article awhile back that had a nickname for people who did that, but the nickname escapes me. I hate when people do that. I think I might have been one of those people today. But that wasn’t my intention. I simply said that I could “really, really use a break.” And I mean it, I really can. I try earnestly to not complain. I know whatever challenges come my way are nothing compared to what others have to get through. But I just think that for a day (or four!), I could get a break. It could be someone else’s turn. I am quite familiar with the saying that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle but I’m ok with him not trusting me so much, you know?
So Madeline and I took Eli to the vet today. It is not good. When the vet himself gets visibly upset, you know it’s not good. And I love him for that. It appears that Eli has bone cancer. And it’s materializing really quickly. Like eight weeks ago, there was nothing on his leg, and now there is a lump the size of an adult fist. There are many courses of action that we could take, but we I am choosing the “let’s make him comfortable for whatever time he has left” path. A path that pains me so. We got Eli when Nick was just a baby crawling around on the floor. Nine years ago. He has been through raising these kids, two moves, a divorce, three other dogs and two other cats. And countless other curve balls. He has been nothing but good to us, and as I explained to Nick tonight, it’s our turn to do whatever he needs us to do to continue to be good to him. To love on him. Unfortunately I think we’re talking about less than a month. The good news is that aside from a visible limp, he appears, on the outside, fine and not in noticeable pain. I am trying to be strong for Nick. He doesn’t know I’ve already cried a few times about this. There will be more tears, no doubt. And I have no idea how I can summon up the strength for Eli’s last day, whenever it comes. For me. Let alone for Nick. The Ex always handled that part. Many friends have offered to help me then, and I will absolutely take them up on it.
My family and friends have been amazing the past month. Hell, they always are. But I have definitely needed everyone more lately than ever before. Through a power surge that killed every bit of technology in the house. A sprained ankle. A missing cat. Two bouts of strep for Nick. And now Eli and his bone cancer. All in the last six weeks. I honestly wasn’t going to type anything here tonight. I was just going to post this lot of happy pictures. All pictures from tonight actually (except the last one, which was from yesterday). We all need happy pictures right now. So forgive the ramble. On that note, let’s bring on the happy.
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On Bitterness and Brunch
“Do you need anything?”
No, I’m good, thank you.
“Water with ice, no straw? Anything else? Hungry? Something wrong?”
I hesitated for a moment and turned to face him.
Really, I’m fine. Please stop being so accommodating.
He seemed surprised for a moment, but understood, thank god.
I was relaying the scenario to a guy friend of mine the next day. I felt bad for what I said, and hoped my date understood. My friend said, “So basically you’re uncomfortable with things being the way they should be.”
And, of course, he was right. He always is.
The accommodating guy is someone I’ve been dating for a little bit. Sarah has nicknamed him Mystic. A story for another time.
He made me brunch on Sunday, but beforehand, he took the time to ask what I like to eat. I rattled off a handful of choices. He went with an egg white omelet that featured chopped spinach, assorted herbs and cheese. He doesn’t eat eggs. He chopped the spinach so fine that it looked like herbs when he was done. He asked questions. He took care. He fawned and fussed. He accommodated. As I texted him last night, I’m a lucky girl.
When it comes to relationships, there is a line to straddle for sure. Somewhere between having a healthy dose of cynicism about everything and becoming bitter. I’m walking the line, I know, teetering on one side, then the other. I sometimes struggle with the notion that Mystic might be accommodating because he likes me. Wants to take care of me. Wants to do right by me. Imagine that! I still want to believe the best in people, not even just boys, and I want to continue to raise my kids in the belief that people are downright good, and the ones that aren’t are the exception. Including boys like Mystic. Luckily he seems to understand where I’m coming from and is undeterred. And he makes a pretty mean egg white omelet to boot. I always did like a guy who could cook.
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